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What if my symptom is…?

Check for common stresses, and get a “tip” for each as well as a plan for creating a Solution.

Anxiety and Constant Worrying Chronic Pain

• Tip: Body pain can put us all over the map emotionally. The stress can feel unstoppable. Try focusing all your concentration on the pain, just devoting yourself to feeling it for ONE MINUTE. Notice how much stronger and more relaxed you feel!
• Plan: Consult your health care team to access optimal health care support. Enroll in Wired for Joy, a four-week introduction to the method, then re-evaluate. Continue with Advanced Training, as needed.

Co-dependency

• Tip: The drive to merge is a survival response. Use the tool of “Checking In” when you get the urge to rescue, please, judge or control. That moment of reflection can be so powerful. Remind yourself that this drive can be extraordinarily strong, so have compassion for yourself when you do merge. That will change as you retrain your brain by using the method.
• Plan: Enroll in Wired for Joy, a four-week introduction to the method followed by Wired for Freedom, an eight-week program to stop the “urge to merge” and fix, control or judge. Continue with Advanced Training, as needed.

Death of a Loved One

• Tip: Use the Natural Flow of Feelings to curb the worst of the pain, preferably in the presence of a Solution Buddy, Solution Provider or loved one. Use #5 Damage Control when a wave of grief comes.
• Plan: Enroll in The Solution for Stress, the four-week introduction to the method with an emphasis on lifestyle. Continue with advanced training.

Depression

• Tip: Pump up your “I feel angry . . . “ skill, using it 10 times daily to keep sadness from becoming depression.
• Plan: Enroll in Wired for Joy, a four-week introduction to the method followed Advanced Training in the method. Access individual coaching as needed and be sure to receive medical support from your health care team.

Diabetes

• Tip: This disease will give you just the motivation you need to take really good care of yourself. Use Tool #3 Emotional Housecleaning each time you use medication or check your blood sugar.
• Plan: Enroll in The Solution for Stress, the four-week introduction to the method with an emphasis on lifestyle. Receive medical management from your health care team. Continue with advanced training.

Divorce and Post-Divorce

• Tip: Try out a basic expectation that will serve as a safety net for stress, such as: “I expect myself to do the best I can to stay above the line even though my former partner is below.” Bring it to mind during stressful moments – and exhale!
• Plan: Enroll in The Solution for Stress, the four-week introduction to the method with an emphasis on lifestyle and continue with Advanced Training. Access Solution Coaching for skills training to respond to the stress of divorce and co-parenting with an ex-partner or spouse.

Drinking and Other Drugs

• Tip: Stress and genetics cause chemical excesses. The biggest stress is not having the skills to attach –– to feel warmly and securely connected –– to yourself. You can get those skills – and, as you do the cravings will fade. Appreciate that the problem is not YOU; it’s your neural circuitry and you can begin to retrain that circuitry.
• Plan: Consult your physician about medical support. Enroll in Wired for Joy, a four-week introduction to the method followed by Wired for Freedom, an eight-week program to zap cravings. Continue with Advanced Training for lasting changes.

Excessive Thinking and Emotional Numbness

• Tip: Analyzing everything gives us the illusion of control. It also blocks the flow of our emotional wisdom and our capacity for intimacy. Start pumping up your capacity to feel you feelings by using Tool #3 Emotional Housecleaning at morning and in the evening.
• Plan: Enroll in Wired for Joy, a four-week introduction to the method followed by Advanced Training, as needed.

Family Stresses

• Tip: Identify the family member who triggers the strongest stress response in you. When in their presence, use the tools of the method to stay above the line, especially when they are below the line. Watch your neural circuits change in amazing ways. That is their gift to you!
• Plan: Enroll in Wired for Joy, a four-week introduction to the method and continue with Advanced Training, as needed.

Heart Disease

• Tip: Most of our stress is internal. Use Tool #3 Emotional Housecleaning before each meal. Notice your stress level ease. Use The Solution 1-2-3 Eating to improve lipid profiles and inflammation, with the approval of your physician.
• Plan: Enroll in The Solution for Stress, the four-week introduction to the method with an emphasis on lifestyle. Receive medical management from your health care team. Continue with advanced training, as needed.

Obesity and Eating Disorders

• Tip: Cravings and urges to overeat, undereat, purge or binge come from the neural circuitry in the brain. Forcing ourselves to change our behavior without retraining the brain usually doesn’t work. Reassure yourself, “These cravings is not about me. It’s about my brain. I can retrain m brain –– and I will do that!”
• Plan: Enroll in Wired for Joy, a four-week introduction to the method followed by Advanced Training. When you are ready to focus on weight and eating, take the eight-week course The Solution for Weight. Get medical monitoring and care throughout your training.

Overspending and Clutter

• Tip: Check your expectation next time you get the urge to spend. That urge is a “survival” need that has nothing to do with the merchandise. Check the expectation that fuels it. For example? “I get my love from objects?” “Having possessions makes me safe.”
• Plan: Enroll in Wired for Joy, a four-week introduction to the method. Arrange for Specialty Coaching, individual sessions on using the skills to decrease overspending and clutter. Continue with Advanced Training.

Pregnancy and Parenting

• Tip: Just the qualities that brought you together may create stresses during pregnancy and childrearing. When stresses mount, use The “Zero Tolerance Tool”, that is, notice that one or both of you is in stress and lovingly disengage from the situation until you are out of stress and in the brain state in which intimacy and love are accessible.
• Plan: Engage as many family members as possible in Solution Training, you, your partner, grandparents and older siblings. Give your children the best shot at living life above the line and decrease the risk that problems will be transmitted from one generation to the next.

Relationship Challenges

• Tip: Taking 10 minutes daily to do an Intimacy Connection, that is both using Tool #3 Emotional Housecleaning” in the presence of the other can open the emotional pipeline between you.
• Plan: Enroll in The Solution for Couples, an eight-week program on the skills to enhance intimacy in relationships. Consider taking introductory training in the method – The Solution for Stress or Wired for Joy – prior to that course. Is your partner unsure about participating? Enroll in the two-hour Couples Workshop to give him or her a taste of the power of the method.

Smoking Cessation

• Tip: A study conducted by the Veteran’s Administration Hospital showed that using Tool #2 Feelings Check was associated with long-term success in smoking cessation. Ask yourself, “How do I feel? What do I need? Do I need support?” throughout the day.
• Plan: Consult your physician about medical support and the nicotine patch. Enroll in Wired for Joy, a four-week introduction to the method followed by Wired for Freedom, an eight-week program to zap the cravings. Continue with Advanced Training, as needed.

Worksite Stress and Overworking

• Tip: With all the intense competition and impossible expectations, most of us have excess work-related stress. Take a 2 minute break in the morning and afternoon take a few deep breaths and reflect on the meaning of what you are doing. You are there for a reason, even if it is just temporary. What is your reason for being in this position at this time? When that reason comes to mind, notice a wave of relaxation and reward.
• Plan: Enroll in The Solution for Stress, a four-week introduction to the method that emphasizes lifestyle. Consult your organization about offering this training as a covered service. Continue with Advanced Training, as needed.

Retrain your brain for health and happiness